I'm back in England (well have been for 2 weeks now) and life is just the same as before I left. Today I started back at work and everything is pretty much the same as before I went to South Africa 18 months ago, only big difference being that Ali has got a new tea mug and lost/ forgotten about the tea bell... Tonight I had the privilege of a chat with Emma and as predicted most of our conversation related to South Africa. We talked about the children I got to see again this summer and who have heart breaking stories. It struck me how easy it is to go away and then come back and tell their stories but also how easy it is to forget that their stories are still ongoing. That boy wasn't in a horrible situation for the 2 weeks I saw him or the 6 months we knew him last year, its an ongoing situation that most likely means that today has been a rubbish day, and tomorrow will be just as bad. We heard stories about his life from over 7 years ago, and nothing has improved yet. It's easy to come home and forget that every day that I go to work, or go for a walk on the beach or meet another friend for food the children we know are still trapped in the same situations. Its easy to feel pretty helpless from so many miles away but tonight I pray that as I wake up tomorrow and go about my normal life I'll remember that these stories don't just last for a couple of weeks or months for so many people its their life. Everyday.

Im currently sat in the Lungisani Indlela office having just completed writing a 'Technical training manual', I have that 'just finished writing my dissertation' feeling (not that it is something I have ever experienced but I guess this is what it feels like!)

Life in Amaoti (a township outside of Durban) is nothing short of crazy. Im staying with the Browns, the family we were with last year and there is never a quiet moment! There are currently 13 of us in the house, I say currently because its an ever fluctuating number! Included in this number are 2 toddlers and Chris who just talks talks and then talks some more! Its a long way from my house in Newcastle where 4 of us live and I have my own bedroom. But despite all the differences, a major one being that I am the only white person for miles, it feels like home! Living in such a different environment has taught me a lot- 1) that my hair falls out a lot- I see it everywhere and cant blame anyone else because nobody else has long fair hair 2) it might be crazy but it all works out- we can get 9 of us through the bathroom in the morning (after each individually boiling water) and still get out the house on time (well most of the time), everyone gets fed, and even with load shedding meaning there is hours without power candle light saves the day. and then 3) family doesnt just have to be the people you are related to, although a year later they are still trying to find a way to marry me into the family (sorry Sam!!). Its a hectic house but everyone is welcome! I love having the chance to just do normal life with these guys- the trips to visit relatives in hospital, the morning madness and the collapsing on the sofa at the end of the day to watch idols (again!). So although its weird thinking that we need bread but I probably shouldn't go buy it on my own, and I get woken up every morning by chickens and taxis beeping their horns and there is never a moments peace- I wouldnt change it! Its easy to look at Amaoti and just see the problems- the abuse and neglect, the terrible conditions people live in and the kids not getting a decent education, but as you drive past at night and look over the community stretching for miles with just little spots of light everywhere its beautiful. Its nothing like the home I was brought up in in Newcastle, or the home I knew in Nottingham but, and this is a message specially for my SA girls- its the home we built! 

I dont know what Im doing this afternoon, what I will eat tonight (though I guess it includes beans) or even how many people will be in the house tonight, but thats life! and I love it!! 

(Im aware that a lot more punctuation needs adding to this but Im sure you can work out what I mean!)

Yesterday there were 2 different groups walking down the hill. 2 groups of majority girls, many teenagers and some as young as 7. That's where the similarities stopped. One group were just on a relaxing walk after visiting the waterfall. The other group were working to support their family. One group were in trainers and the other were barefoot or in shoes falling apart. One group had been impacted by floods earlier in the year meaning crops had been destroyed and collecting firewood was a means of survival. The other group lived in a country that if flooded would be far less likely to wipe out a families whole livelihood. As we walked down the hill being passed by girls carrying enormous weights of firewood it struck me that the fundamental reason our life's are so different is they were born at the base of Mount Mulanje and I was born in Newcastle. How's that fair?

You know what sucks....

There's no doubt about the fact that tourism provides a lot of jobs in Malawi. At one place we stayed recently they had capacity to cater for 40 guests and employed 40 members of staff. That's 40 people who can help provide for their family and pay for food, education, healthcare and so much more. Without tourists these individuals would be unemployed. What sucks is when you see the money being spent by tourists not being used to help locals.
 We recently stayed at Nkhata bay where we were right next to the lake. Also on the beach was a group of local guys who would try a whole range of tactics to try and sell you their products. They would pester you, flirt with you or just make a bracelet with your name on so you felt obliged to buy it. And then came the hard part- there is no such thing as a product labelled with a price. You have to barter and try and get a reasonable price- not one of my skills. It gets to a point where you are arguing over a pound and it seems insignificant when converted to sterling. At this point a common tactic is to start telling you about all the family they are trying to support in order to try and get more money. The issue is that with everything that is said you can smell the alcohol on their breath. As much as you want to help a struggling family you can't help bit think that the money is just being used to buy more alcohol.  Tourists are bringing some great income to Malawi but it's a shame that so much money isn't going where it's needed.

Hello from nkhata bay (a town on Lake Malawi). Been a good few days involving a lot of swimming in the lake and playing with local kids although it is weird that the current heatwave in the UK means it's hotter at home than here! We have also spent a lot of time driving around. Unlike at home when you drive around and just see the side of a motorway here you get to see people pushing bikes carrying insane amounts of stuff, markets full of piles of fruit and little kids eager to wave at you. It's been weird being a tourist, after last year in SA all I want to do is do something to help. Unlike in SA where we also got to see the wealthier areas in Malawi everywhere you look is extreme poverty. It's hard to imagine how it could ever improve. Even with a decent education there just isn't the jobs around to help get families out of poverty. So many charities are doing things to improve access to clean water, schools, health care and so much more but as you drive through village after village the problem seems too huge. For now I'll just have to trust that the work these charities are doing is making more of a difference than is clearly visible and hope that by playing with local kids I can make them smile even if it is just for half an hour.

Off on another adventure

Life update: Tomorrow I'm heading to Malawi to travel round the country my dad was born in with my family. When they return home I'm continuing the adventure and going back to Durban to revisit the charity I worked with last year. The aim is to blog as much as wifi allows! It fills me with excitement to be going back to the place we made home although not sharing the experience with the girls will be strange (I miss you already!!)

I recently read this quote and every time I see it its like I'm hit by a tonne of bricks.

"Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names, they are easier to ignore before you see their faces, it is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do everything changes" (David Platt)

When I first visited Malawi 6 years ago I was struck by the poverty that surrounded us constantly but I never knew what stories surrounded the people we met. Travelling through the country as we will be doing doesn't allow relationships to be formed but it will be interesting to see what my time in South Africa last year has changed. Will last year have altered the way I think when I see a sea of smiling faces, faces similar to those I was friends with in South Africa. Smiles which mean it's easy to walk past and not know the abuse many of these children are facing, the prospect of growing up without parents and forget about the real threat of living without proper sanitation. What will it be like seeing extreme poverty following the relationships we built in Amaoti? My heart was broken by the people I met last year and I'm excited for what is to come!

Throwback to last time I was in Malawi